Standing in the ultrasound room recently with my bride, my little boy, my mother-in-law, and our precious friends Zane and Hannah was (as Zane put it) "surreal".
Toes, fingers, ears, eyes, lips, so many details...Ribs were clearly seen and I was fascinated with the baby's spine.
The anticipation was high, waiting to hear if it was pink or blue, but we were also very thankful for all the other measurements they were doing, to make sure our baby is as healthy as possible.
"See that right there? It's a girl!"
Total elation. Of course I cried. I saw bows and frillies and pinks and purples and yellows and polka dots and explosions of lace and Minnie Mouse and oh my gosh I am going to have a daughter!!!
In the moment, I completely forgot about our experience with Ben's birth. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced. Doctors and nurses in space suits. A big plastic mat on the floor, the size of a whitewater raft, tools and lines and needles and tears and "OH MY GOSH....you want me to do what? Look where? Do you KNOW what's going on down there? No thanks, I'm fine right here. I'm a good hand holder."
Talk about a mess!
It was overwhelming and there was this SMELL I will never forget. The whole thing was enough to make a dude lose his appetite for days.
Then I saw a head, then a shoulder, arms and in the blink of an eye the doctor was holding a perfect, crying, baby boy. Still messy, but perfect in my eyes.
When they laid him in my arms, I immediately knew I would run in front of a train for him. I'd never met him, but I knew I would kill or be killed for him. There was nothing I wouldn't do for this tiny baby boy. I didn't even realize that I had quickly and completely forgotten the mess he was and the mess he made.
Isn't that just like Grace? Grace hears our cries of desperation, wraps comforts us, and forgets everything else. It's as if it never happened. I pray that Grace captures you and bulldozes the walls you have built today.